Submit

You’re likely reading through all of this and thinking:

HOW? How can I possibly get that great story from when I went to the mud baths with the other moms and somehow ended up in the Grotto with a male model sucking my toes into Purdy Mouth Mama?

And we’re looking for you. I mean, that story has to ROCK and we fully expect you to divulge all the details. After all, how else does a housewife get her kicks?

But seriously, here’s how you submit:

• Simply email your story to PurdyMouthMama AT gmail.com and we’ll get you featured here. While we’re all about the confidentiality of your story (your email will self destruct after we hit “post”) we are totally comfortable getting emails from the gmail account you created just to submit your story and has no identifying markers, whatsoever.
• Alternately you can simply put your story in the comments box below and we’ll add it to the site that way. We are nothing if not accommodating round these parts.
• Photos are not required but can add a certain brilliance to your tale. Of course, we may need to edit them (see below).
• Humor will pop you to the top.
• Depressing tales of how your world exploded all because you took the Lord’s name in vain will not.
• Purdy Mouth Mama reserves the right to reject any story submitted. You may call us dirty bitches if it makes you feel better.
• Your submissions might be edited a wee bit. We’re not going to let you malign anyone, so please don’t use anyone’s real name.
• If you did something illegal we’ll still post it. Up to a point. Please don’t tell us anything that would force us into a witness box. Or witness protection.

And thank you for your help in building a place where we can all live vicariously through your secret Soccer Mom life. You’re a hero and we all want to lick you.