This entry came to us from a mama I know and love. And she’s not sharing her digits so all you creepy old men can back off. Unless you’re really hot. Then I can pass along your picture and we can see what happens next.
So you remember that show “Married with Children” where, among other stereotypes, the wife was a sex starved freak who was constantly trying to get her loser husband into bed?
I have become that woman.
I had always heard that when a woman hits her 30′s she finds her sexual stride but what kind of cruel joke is it that my men peak at 18? Don’t get me wrong, when things start rolling between me and my mister, it’s a rocking good time. Getting the party started, however? That has become a real chore. And that just doesn’t make sense to me in the least. Aren’t men supposed to be sexual pushovers? Aren’t they supposed to be the horndogs that will hump your leg? So why does this equation reverse when we get settled into marriage? Why is my brain spending half it’s time working on getting him naked and alone (not necessarily in that order)?
Maybe it’s a side effect of dealing with kids all day and needing something to remind you that you are, indeed, still an adult. Maybe it’s the days spent picking boogers out of your hair that have you crying out for proof that you’re still sexy. Maybe it’s the fact that when your in the middle of a little one-on-one time, you simply cannot think of anything else… pleasure is all that is important.
But dude. I want to get lucky more often than this and I don’t want to come off as a needy little shrew in the process.
Someone give me some tips so I don’t find myself making eyes at the guy checking the gas meter. And hurry.
Alex Said:
on July 13, 2008 at 9:32 pm
This is awesome. I’m def. gonna have to put some of my own stories together & submit. I’ve walked in a few gutters in my life to get to here. Ho hum.
I digress. I have a sort of general rule that we never go more than a week. I do try for twice a week, but there are many times when we just can’t manage that what with the kids around mucking that plan up.
Don’t underestimate the value of a B-J. If my guy doesn’t seem all that interested, I’ll give him a little B-J attention and then once he’s excited enough, “whoops!” I just can’t handle how awesome his peter is, I just can’t control myself, I must have it! (or at least that’s what I tell him. It was my plan all along. But that’s my secret!)
My man knows that without the goods I get bitchy. He even calls it “my medicine,” and in a sense, he’s right about that. lol. My mood miraculously improves with a dose. But anyway, try to set a little mental limit (a week) and commit to it, even if either one of us doesn’t feel like it. Cuz, you’ll feel like it once you’re doin’ it!
Oh, and the shower, which used to be serious personal time for each of us, became, one of the rare times we could get it on for a little while there. Even if for a quickie – better than nuthin’.
Happy screwin’
bridge Said:
on July 14, 2008 at 11:01 am
No good advice, just empathy! I love the image of Peg Bundy. We are taking a sex-cation to San Francisco in a week, first of its kind.